Derek DelGaudio's In & of Itself

POV: You're hooking up with Derek Delgaudio:

"When I was a kid, I got hit in the nuts by a baseball. I still tense up when someone reaches for my nuts. Now, if I showed you a baseball and my testicles, they'd no longer be just testicles and just a baseball. Knowing the story, knowing the impact, knowing my truth, you can never look at my testicles objectively again."

He pulls out a baseball and fits the entire thing inside his foreskin. He snaps his fingers and the baseball disappears.

"Maybe all along, these were balls. Not testicles. Balls. When the baseball hit me in the nuts, everything there became balls. Every experience in life is colored and changed by what has touched us. When the baseball hit my testicles, every decision henceforth was informed by that moment. Where I sat. What sports I played. What pants I wore. So, in a sense, did I not become... balls? Who are we? Who am I if not a man who makes older white women from the upper east side cry in this theatre every night? Who am I if not... balls?"

He thrusts himself inside you and whispers in your ear:

"Did you choose the card that said Tight Pussy?"