Favorite films

  • Evil Dead II
  • This Is Spinal Tap
  • Back to the Future
  • Kill Bill: Vol. 1

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  • Puppet Master: The Legacy

    ½

  • Vicious Lips

    ★★

  • Invincible

    ★★★★★

  • True Story

Recent reviews

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  • Puppet Master: The Legacy

    Puppet Master: The Legacy

    Normally for Full Moon Features I do a nice little rhyme.
    But this movie sucks so bad that not this time!
    Almost the entire movie is just rehashed bits.
    Puppet master: the legacy is a steaming pile of awful recap with only ten terrible minutes of trash sandwiched in between regurgitated clips!
    I still kind of rhymed even though I said I shan't.
    Puppet Master's diapers seemed to have shat their pants.

  • Vicious Lips

    Vicious Lips

    More like Vicious Riffs, am I right? Cue air guitar and cheesy Pat Benatar-sounding music.

    There's an intergalactic club that needs a band. The promoter so elegantly puts it as: "Who will I allow to fill this slot tomorrow night?" Giggity! Then she goes on to ask, "Which band will get a chance at intergalactic stardom?" The answer to this should be the Wyld Stallyns rocking out with the grim reaper with the Beastie Boys opening up for them singing…

Popular reviews

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  • Don't Breathe 2

    Don't Breathe 2

    Don’t Breathe 2 and the Chamber of Turkey Basters
    Don’t Breathe 3 and the Prisoner of Blind Rapists
    Don’t Breathe 4 and the Goblet of Semen
    Don’t Breathe 5 and Order of the Baster
    Don’t Breathe 6 and the Half-Blood Turkey Baster
    Don’t Breathe 7 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 1
    Don’t Breathe 8 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 2

    Franchise!

  • Don't Look Up

    Don't Look Up

    Everyone in this movie poster looking up for their awards. Come and join the celebrity circle jerk of self-importance.