• Weekend at Bernie's

    Weekend at Bernie's

    Terry Kiser gives the performance that made him a household name as a crash test dummy. I was elated throughout the movie to think "he made bank off just slumping around." I also liked the theme song by Andy Summers. There's not much else to say about the thing, it's a classic summer comedy that never insists on itself too much. What more could you ask for?

  • Total Recall

    Total Recall

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I can neither give my usual first impressions, nor my considerations to whether or not the film held up since my first viewing, since I can't actually remember if I've watched it before or not.
    Although it seems like a funny bit, I really don't know. It's possible it just has been that long since my intitial viewing, but there are so many little scenes I don't recollect at all. Hell, I forgot about Benny.
    But what everyone wants to…

  • Rocky IV

    Rocky IV

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Whatever he hits, he destroys."
    Rocky 4 is as outlandish as Rocky 2 is boring. The emotional core of the film, the journey of self discovery Rocky travels on, seems to be in direct opposition to that of Rocky 3. Rocky fights against Drago to redeem the memory of Apollo, and argues with his wife over his needing to do this: that he's a fighter, and he can't change. We must keep in mind that this is the 4th installment…

  • Rocky III

    Rocky III

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "You and that chump don't know where I came from. You call yourself a fighter, prove it now. Give me that same chance."
    Rocky 3 takes everything that Rocky 2 did wrong and not only fixes it, but improves on it to make a better movie than the original. Rocky is smarter, harder, faster, and the rest of the movie is too. The romance between him and Adrian is more refined, his relationship with his son is neither overbearing nor…

  • Rocky II

    Rocky II

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "I saw you beat that man like I never saw no man get beat before... and the man kept coming after you."
    Rocky 2 picks up immediately after the Bicentennial Bout, and from the time Rocky leaves the chapel until he sees his son for the first time, it all feels wrong. Adrian and Rocky's relationship seems awkward, as though every moment has her reconsidering the decision she's made, though this may be due to Talia Shire's performance coming across…

  • Rocky

    Rocky

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Apollo Creed meets the Italian Stallion - sounds like a damn monster movie!"
    The story Rocky tells isn't about the fight that takes place at the end, or about America being the land of Opportunities. From the first time we see Rocky outside of the ring, every interaction he has with those around him is a genuine effort: his encouragement of the singers in the street, trying to get the puppies attention through the pet shop window, practicing the joke…

  • The Fabulous Baker Boys

    The Fabulous Baker Boys

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I can't specify the date for this, as I normally would do with a movie I haven't watched before, due to it taking me a week and three different sittings to slog through it.
    The Fabulous Baker Boy is good until it isn't, and the scene where this change occurs is the one directly after our romantic leads kiss on New Years. As soon as that balloon bounces into frame, you can bounce the tape on out of your VCR.…

  • Art School Confidential

    Art School Confidential

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I bought this as a fan of Daniel Clowes' comics. I have a large collection of his books, about half of which I've read thus far. ASC comes from a four page story in his serial comic magazine Eightball which is an imagined Noir exploit where an officer goes undercover to unearth the seedy underbelly of how the entire Art School system is a giant scam, and there's no actual crime being committed other than telling these schmucks that they…

  • Barton Fink

    Barton Fink

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I have seen Barton Fink before once, when I was much younger. Prior to my watching it, I could remember only two details: The Painting in Fink's Room and John Goodman walking through the Flames. So, you can imagine my surprise at the 3rd act twist of Fink waking up next to Audrey after nothing else in the picture had led you to think anything like what happened would happen.
    One of the DVD's special features is an interview with…

  • Kung Fu Hustle

    Kung Fu Hustle

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A movie that I was informed was on par, comedically, with Kung Pow. Could not be any more false, and I'm glad that is so.
    Kung Fu Hustle is in fact a comedy and, as the front of the vhs tape says, it is very Looney Tunes-like. However, it is still a Kung-Fu movie before anything else, as evidenced by all the classic story tropes being hit even, if it does spin them on their head a bit: Young Boy…

  • Ghostwatch

    Ghostwatch

    When I first heard of the premise, I thought it sounded similar to the WNUF Halloween Special. To spoil that, it ended with the haunting actually being a pair of demented Christians who saw Halloween as a Satanic event, and the entire premise of the film crew entering the haunted house and glorifying the spirits a slight against God. This is a terrible twist, given that the Haunting was meant to be scripted by the studio, although it has more…

  • Car Wash

    Car Wash

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I thought Car Wash was gonna be a Zucker-Adams-Zucker style madcap comedy, such as The Naked Gun series, based on the fact that it advertised Richard Pryor as its star. Pryor's appearance in the movie is for one scene and has little to no bearing on any of the other events that occur. Looking back at it now, it really stands out from the rest of the film for just how absurd it is.
    What Car Wash actually is is…