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  • Stargate

    Stargate

    ★★★½

    This is the beginning of the Daniel Jackson saga, here portrayed by James Spader. He's a cross between Graham Hancock and Luke Skywalker and his saga continues for 200+ episodes on Stargate SG-1.

    While being a little more cinematic, once you've seen Stargate SG-1, this is nothing but the first episode in a long story where Daniel dies like 25 times, becomes something like a Jedi, and stands up for truth, justice, among other things nobody cares about any more.…

  • Murder Mountain

    Murder Mountain

    ★★★★

    Guess what kids? There are no hippies any more. Nope. There isn't. There's a lot of long-haired weirdos with guns, and one might see a peace symbol here or there spray-painted on the side of a brick wall or sign... but there's no such thing as hippies any longer.

    Yeah, there's a whole bunch of old fogies who may have been 'hippies' for about 10 minutes, 40 freaking years ago, but guess what? A percentage of them joined communes. Charles…

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    I have a bad feeling about this...

    Alan Smithee presents: $tar War$: Plan 9: Rise of the Undead Corpse of the Franchise

    It's like an unfinished movie. It's like a movie that was only half made and then re-made or something… like Justice League… or Solar Crisis… or perhaps the new Fantastic Four...

    The dead speak! (Through computer animated reincarnation). The Franchise's dead corpse is hooked to a life support machine in this "film" which appears to be completely compiled…

  • Aquaman

    Aquaman

    No, this isn't gay porn, though this poster looks like it is, it is another ridiculous attempt to turn D.C. comics into movies and television shows which still continues to fail hilariously.