• Jiu Jitsu

    Jiu Jitsu

    ★★

    Finally, a movie that dares to ask the question “What would Predator look like if it was a DTV Mortal Kombat knockoff starring Nicolas Cage as Raiden?” An alien warrior who can instantly heal any injury comes to Earth once every six years to fight. If he gets his fight, the rest of the world is safe. If he doesn’t, he kills everyone.

    That’s the setup for a bunch of solid martial arts sequences, a lot of cheesy special effects,…

  • Silent Movie

    Silent Movie

    ★★★★

    The only Mel Brooks movie I’d never seen is ... pretty consistently hilarious? It’s also a blank check movie if I ever saw one; Mel Brooks used his clout from releasing two of the biggest comedies ever in a single year to make Hollywood’s first silent movie in decades — and to get some of the biggest stars of the era to make cameos, thus ensuring the movie had sufficient box office appeal to draw audiences despite its anachronistic aesthetics.…

  • Hamlet

    Hamlet

    ★★★½

    While truncated, this Hamlet is also a visually dynamic one. I love the gliding camera that haunts the halls of Elsinore, and the shifts in focus that signal the arrival of the Ghost (not to mention his spooky, breathy voice). For me, though, the definitive cinematic version of this material remains Schwarzenegger’s.

  • Sleeping Beauty

    Sleeping Beauty

    ★★★★

    Maybe the most visually stunning of all the Disney classics, but did these fairies really spend 15 years and 364 days hiding with this princess, not using magic a single time, only to let this girl out for a forest stroll on the day they’ve been dreading for all that time while they use multiple magic spells to make a crappy birthday party?!? WTF fairies!!!

  • Bad As I Wanna Be: The Dennis Rodman Story

    Bad As I Wanna Be: The Dennis Rodman Story

    ★½

    Apparently, he wanted to be pretty bad.

  • Mutiny on the Bounty

    Mutiny on the Bounty

    ★★★½

    Adventure in high-waisted pants on the high seas! (This movie won the Oscar for Best Picture.)

  • A Man for All Seasons

    A Man for All Seasons

    ★★★★

    "What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you – where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws from coast to coast, Man's laws, not God's, and if you cut them down – and you're just the man to do it – do you really think you could stand upright…

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★

    Movies hurt people. Specifically, if you drop a tube television playing the original Halloween on a dude’s head, that hurts a lot.

  • Scream 3

    Scream 3

    ★★½

    Haven’t seen this one since its theatrical release, when I thought it as a major disappointment. It’s definitely the weakest of the first trilogy but it’s also a bit better than I remembered. There’s one really outstanding sequence, where Ghostface chases Sidney through a set of her childhood home, and it’s like her past has literally come back to haunt her. Plus, Parker Posey gives maybe the single best performance in any of these movies as the terrible actress playing…

  • Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

    Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

    ★★

    Hold on. This single mom has five kids and she decides that because she’s 37 she’s earned a vacation? So she leaves them with someone she’s never even met for two months while she goes to Australia by herself? You can just... do that? Can I do that? I am older than 37 and I have less kids to irresponsibly abandon!

  • Scream 2

    Scream 2

    ★★★½

    Maybe not quite as clever about the “rules” of sequels as the first is about the rules of slasher movies, but featuring the greatest movie extra in history goes a long way in my book.

  • Doc Hollywood

    Doc Hollywood

    ★★★

    This movie is so much like Cars that my new theory is that Lightning McQueen is Michael J. Fox’s car, from the time before the cars gained sentience and rose against humanity. Then, after feeling tremendous guilt about his part in the violence, Lightning recreated the events of his vehicular life as part of some twisted attempt at penance for his horrible crimes.