maria has written 6 reviews for films rated .

  • The Turning

    The Turning

    didn’t give a shit about what happened in this movie but honestly nothing happened in this movie

  • The Cat in the Hat

    The Cat in the Hat

    there is a scene very early on where a man, very publicly and very loudly, fires his employee for shaking his hand with naked hands and then proceeds to clean his hands with the hand sanitizer he keeps hanging on his belt like a gun holster in a 1960s western flick. steven soderbergh, retire bitch

  • Cats

    Cats

    a david lynch and gaspar noé nightmarish acid trip for people who are into cat orgies

  • Jack and Jill

    Jack and Jill

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    al pacino wants to bang woman adam sandler but woman adam sandler doesn't want to bang him back so man adam sandler bangs him

  • Playmobil: The Movie

    Playmobil: The Movie

    "the lego movie"
    upgrade
    "the emoji movie"
    fuck go back
    "playmobil: the movie"
    I SAID GO BACK

  • Wounds

    Wounds

    this is one of the things that makes me rethink of my life choices, for example my life choice of paying for a netflix subscription