maria has written 89 reviews for films rated ★★★★½ .

  • Perfect Blue

    Perfect Blue

    ★★★★½

    darren aronofsky, retire bitch

  • A Separation

    A Separation

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    you can be sure as hell the first thing i googled after finishing this was "WHO THE FUCK TOOK THE MONEY IN SEPARATION 2011?????"

  • Clue

    Clue

    ★★★★½

    there are two types of people in this world: people who liked clue (1985) and people who are wrong

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★½

    whodunit
    whoduni
    whodun
    whodu
    whod
    who
    wh
    w
    d
    do
    don
    donu
    donut

  • Apocalypse Now

    Apocalypse Now

    ★★★★½

    I love the smell of marlon brando inventing acting through three seconds of screen time and literally obliterating every other actor ever in the morning. also, napalm

  • Full Metal Jacket

    Full Metal Jacket

    ★★★★½

    straight line: ____________
    dashed line: -- -- -- --
    iconic line: YOU'RE SO UGLY YOU COULD BE A MODERN ART MASTERPIECE

  • Irreversible

    Irreversible

    ★★★★½

    fuck

  • The Irishman

    The Irishman

    ★★★★½

    when the movie ended and martin scorsese's name appeared on the screen, a woman who was sitting next to me in the theatre stood up, clapped for a little while and then said WELL DONE, MARTY for everyone to hear and i can honestly say i have never been more represented by a person in my entire life

    well done, marty
    well done, robert
    well done, al
    well done, joe
    well done, harvey
    well done, y'all

  • After Hours

    After Hours

    ★★★★½

    just let this little horny bitch go home he just wants to go home why won't you let him go home he's just a word processor! just lend him 53 cents so he can go home he just want to live man home is where it's at people

  • Silence

    Silence

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    andrew garfield and adam driver: *go through hell to save liam neeson and his soul*
    liam neeson: me no christian no more me a weeboo
    andrew garfield: please say sike

  • Raging Bull

    Raging Bull

    ★★★★½

    not to be that filmbro bitch but this film was an experience and it changed me

  • Rosemary's Baby

    Rosemary's Baby

    ★★★★½

    i'm baby