maria has written 128 reviews for films rated ★★★★ .

  • John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

    John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

    ★★★★

    john mulaney: eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs
    me: *chef's kiss* the power of poetry

  • The Way He Looks

    The Way He Looks

    ★★★★

    *no words just cries in the corner because this was too cute*

  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    ★★★★

    i'm thinking of asking charlie kaufman if he's okay cause i'm certainly not after this

  • Benjamin

    Benjamin

    ★★★★

    still being a bbc merlin merthur hardcore shipper in the ungodly year of 2020, i was looking for this film for two hours, using my vpn to pay for it on amazon and getting my card declined cause it's fucking greek, then resorting to the good ol' jack sparrow p*rating, just to watch colin morgan be an awkward adorable gay

  • Palm Springs

    Palm Springs

    ★★★★

    cons: the fact that i can't be stuck in a time loop with andy samberg, cristin milioti and J.K. simmons for eternity
    pros: literally everything else

  • Antichrist

    Antichrist

    ★★★★

    i have a very weird relationship with lars von trier, as all of us do i think. i fucking hate his movies, but i actually don't, but i really do, but not really and i can't stop watching them when i really should but i really don't want to but i really do and it's all just......... wack

  • BlacKkKlansman

    BlacKkKlansman

    ★★★★

    is topher grace even a real person

  • Nymphomaniac: Vol. I

    Nymphomaniac: Vol. I

    ★★★★

    eating the orange cheetos throughout the cock display montage was a very weird experience to say the least

  • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

    The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

    ★★★★

    i will defend my little simp boy edmund till the day i die

  • Mandy

    Mandy

    ★★★★

    what

  • Short Term 12

    Short Term 12

    ★★★★

    rami malek rubbing his cheek aggressively with purell, cleaning doors with some nice looking gloves on, eating bananas, vacuuming couches and saying the wrong shit all the time is straight up 2020 mood and possibly forever mood

  • Three Colors: Blue

    Three Colors: Blue

    ★★★★

    me: *is fully aware that a movie with the word blue in the title that is part of a series titled three colors will have lots of blue in it*
    movie: *has lots of blue in it*
    my only remaining brain cell: *surprised pikachu face*