Batman ★★★

What still holds up: Jack Nicholson's incredibly creepy laugh and Joker makeup and butt-wiggling triumph dance.

What doesn't: Kim Basinger's Vicki Vale, a conundrum of a woman who charges into war zones as a hard-hitting photojournalist, but also squeals with terror ten thousand times in this movie, pretty much every time anything happens. She also has a floofy princess bedset and keeps a big teddy bear in her bed. And needs rescuing every five minutes. But she's important and special and magical, which is why Alfred is really, really emotionally invested in her and Bruce Wayne boning more, which is kinda creepy.

What never worked in the first place: Michael Keaton's blank-faced, living-in-a-dream performance as Bruce Wayne, who appears to still be in catatonic shock following his parents' death.

Jury's still out: on the Prince music. Two out of three Next Picture Show podcasters think it just doesn't work. I still like the parade scene with the poisonous floats and the free money, which really does seem like the kind of shenanigan the Joker would get up to in any Batman era or story whatsoever, just with different results.