ted hazell

ted hazell

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freelance writer and video game reviewer

Favorite films

  • Showgirls
  • Cruel Intentions
  • Rocky
  • Match Point

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  • Junk Boy

    ★★★

  • Tom & Jerry

  • The Voyeurs

    ★★★

  • Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

    ★★★

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  • Showgirls

    Showgirls

    ★★★★★

    “Nice dress!”
    “Thanks! It’s Versays”
    “It’s Versace.”
    “What?”
    “It’s Versace.”

    I loved this film. What the fuck.

Recent reviews

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  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    Armie Hammer wasn’t gay, he was just hungry

  • Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

    Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

    ★★★

    ~ watched with dad ~ 

    40 minutes in and my dad says the following: 

    “Do you know what she did for one of her boyfriends on Valentines Day once?”
    “No... what?”
    “She got all the hair around her minge, and shaved it into a heart, and the died it all red for him. Her friends told someone that in an interview.”
    “Oh okay.”
    “She’s so fucking sexy”
    “Uhuh..” 

    I went upstairs after that. So let’s call this a half log?