• The Host

    The Host

    ★★★½

    The Host lurks in the depths of the Han River, an abominable amalgamation of amphibian and “dirty formaldehyde” dumped by the orders of an American pathologist, where Joon-Ho entertainingly creates a creature feature in his signature offbeat comedy with the thematic presence of environmentalism and an apt sociopolitical commentary on governmental mishandling from U.S. officials, although the central family felt frustratingly underdeveloped to make room for the satire.

  • Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

    Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance

    ★★★★

    Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance kidnaps a wealthy businessman’s daughter to coerce a ransom for life-saving treatment, however Chan-Wook’s signature bleakness commences his thematic “Vengeance” trilogy with effective callousness when the ordeal goes horribly wrong, impressively exploring different forms of revenge, that occasionally substitutes the overarching empathetic tone for uncontrollable brutality, but ultimately delivers a searing thriller in dehumanisation.

  • Memories of Murder

    Memories of Murder

    ★★★★½

    Memories of Murder investigates serial murders in a rural town outside of Seoul, with Joon-Ho’s black comedic social satire seamlessly blending with the crime thrills of a deeply serious investigative case that enthrallingly highlights police fallibility and abuse of power, culminating in a powerful role reversal for an instinctive local detective and the procedural volunteer that is expertly accentuated by subtle performances, a disconnected score and masterful direction.

  • Hotel Transylvania: Transformania

    Hotel Transylvania: Transformania

    Transformania undergoes metamorphosis for its colourfully cartoonish monsters, whom all reshape into humans, where the harmless adventure to South America rather ironically does not change any of the themes, messages and humour from the previous monster mashes, marking a forgettable fourth entry in a consistently mediocre franchise.

  • Oldboy

    Oldboy

    ★★★★½

    Oldboy brutally stares down its foes, unabashedly picks up a hammer and repeatedly strikes at the core desolation of its sinful immorality, with Chan-Wook’s visceral freneticism energising the savagery of his revenge thriller, the numbness of his tragic love story and the twisted entanglement of his unprincipled mystery, bolstered by Min-Sik’s thundering hysteria and the iconic corridor rampage, leaving us agonisingly anticipating that jaw-dropping final purple box reveal.

  • Voyeur

    Voyeur

    Voyeur peeps into the weighty topic of motel privacy, as prolific reporter Talese writes on a motel owner who secretly watched his guests, before descending into a documentary about journalistic integrity and authorial intent where, never mind the unbeknown guests stroking their genitals for someone's pleasure, sees two insupportable old men stroke their egos for ninety minutes with minimal edification.

  • Phobias

    Phobias

    Phobias weaponises a handful of intriguing aversions in an anthological horror with minimal cohesion in between the shorts, followed by an inconsistent tone flooded with zero tension, scares and creativity, topped off with some hammy performances that overall somehow manifests its own phobia: Phobiasphobia - the fear of the film Phobias.

  • Eternals

    Eternals

    ★★★½

    Eternals perpetually reflects on humanity’s best capabilities and worst tendencies as a race of immortal beings watch over Earth and promulgate their infallible God complexes through acts of cynical heroism, where Zhao’s spectacular ambition is rewarded with a refreshing change of pace for the MCU, relishing in somewhat heavy celestial exposition and too much unfunny Nanjiani, but also a meditative beauty both in its picturesque shots and within its familial undertones which generates substantial yet nuanced character development for each deity. 

    Finally a Marvel film I actually care about!

  • Final Score

    Final Score

    ★★½

    Final Score passes its action-heavy ball to 'Die Hard', 'Die Hard' avoids being tackled by 'Speed', 'Die Hard' preparing to shoot against 'Olympus Has Fallen', top-right corner...GOALLL! 'Die Hard' secures this disposably fun thriller a place in the final, but it has no hope in securing the trophy. What a match! It'll be forgotten about the next day...

  • Bee Movie

    Bee Movie

    Bee Movie buzzes around hive jokes, honey gags and the most peculiar human-bee relationship in, well, ever; in what has to be the most oddly written animation filled with insufferable cringeworthy adult humour voiced by the most bizarre cast of actors, whom are all dreadfully miscast, consequently stinging its unusual hive-building where bees drive cars and are "honey slaves to the white man".

    Seinfeld is unbearable. The whole film is a meme, but it's painful throughout...

  • Girlhood

    Girlhood

    ★★★★

    Girlhood solidifies the sacred bond between adolescent females inside an oppressive male environment as a young timid girl joins an all-female gang, where Sciamma once again beautifully conceptualises the struggle for identity with such delicacy and equanimity that, along with Touré’s genuinely empathetic performance, creates a thoroughly engaging coming-of-age drama with consistently strong female energy.

    Boyhood wishes it was this good…

  • Escape Plan 2: Hades

    Escape Plan 2: Hades

    Escape Plan II can't escape the fact that Stallone cited this dreadfully pointless sequel to be the "most horribly produced film" of his career. Nothing more needs to be added.