Jacob has written 202 reviews for films rated ★★½ .

  • Independence Day

    Independence Day

    ★★½

    Happy Independence Day!! - (To all my Filipinos out there)

    I was thinking about my past reviews and how I review films in general and I’ve noticed how I’m usually uber negative in almost all my reviews without pointing out what I loved about the film. I always thought that I had to give reasons for my low ratings due to some hardcore fans of the film looking for closure which I hope to explain if needed be in the…

  • 2012

    2012

    ★★½

    I’m so happy the “disaster” genre is slowly fading because these films are simply made to take your money with little to show for it. At least that’s what I believe. The characters are completely unlikable and simply disposable. Cracking jokes while you have your kids on the verge of death isn’t necessarily “funny”. Forced romances in the most worst of times doesn’t sound exactly like an idea time to rekindle a long lost flame. It’s not clever, it’s not…

  • Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

    Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

    ★★½

    Everyone has guilty pleasures, whether they want to admit it or not. Anacondas 2 was my late mom and I’s guilty trip down a very nasty amazon with some of the worst company to ever have to be our tour guide.

    Seriously, the characters are so annoying. There is one character who never shuts up and most of his lines is him screaming about how everyone is going to die. I found myself hoping and wondering if their demise would…

  • Darkman

    Darkman

    ★★½

    Before Sam Rami’s Spider-Man and a little after Tim Burton’s Batman, Rami created something that is supposedly to be a homage to the 1930’s Universal horror films by creating a “dark” and moody anti- superhero film. Instead, I found it to be a comedy because never in my life will take serious of a hero who runs away boohooing like a child holding a pink stuffed elephant that he won for his girlfriend at a fair in which she declined…

  • The Naked Kiss

    The Naked Kiss

    ★★½

    Samuel Fuller is known for low-budget films with controversial themes, which allowed him to make a name for himself and surly became highly respected by many fans around his time. I myself have enjoyed his films before this one. I think they have a sense of uniqueness about them but unfortunately for The Naked Kiss, it’s a little too heavy on the melodrama and the story about a prostitute with a moral compass isn’t all that engaging. The acting is…

  • Band of Outsiders

    Band of Outsiders

    ★★½

    It takes an acquired taste to fully appreciate Godard’s films and it’s a taste I just don’t have. There’s a specific scene and apparently it’s the most referenced scene in today’s pop culture, that scene features the three main (unlikable) characters dancing. It was beautiful and it came out of nowhere, which makes it even more greater. Then Godard decides to show-off when he doesn’t need to. He plays his voice narrating over them as he speaks about the thoughts…

  • Shiva Baby

    Shiva Baby

    ★★½

    Before I start, i would like to say that these are my personal opinions and if I offend anyone, I apologize but my opinion isn’t going to change but maybe how I express my opinion will, that’s if I receive constructive criticism. I also want to say, I’m not judging anyone who loves this movie, in fact more power to you all, I seriously wish I shared those feelings. With that said let’s begin. 

    Ex Lovers are a burdens, family…

  • Minions

    Minions

    ★★½

    Despite how you view my rating, I’m quite surprised how much it didn’t annoy me because this is indeed completely pointless and simply mindless but again, I’m thoroughly pleased that this film wasn’t as awful as I thought it was going to be.

    I still have a soft spot for the cute minions even though I feel this film should’ve never been made but here I was, watching it with my daughter with a huge smile on her face as…

  • Zulu

    Zulu

    ★★½

    I’ve seen a film very similar to this, that’s based off a true event and is nearly identical in narrative and structure. That film is called “The Alamo” and just like “The Alamo”, both are incredibly toneless, paced awfully and culturally inaccurate and insensitive for the opposing sides. The Zulu’s do speak a language, don’t let the film fool you, although the film shows that they just love to kill, dance and sing, they too have a language and feelings…

  • Top Gun

    Top Gun

    ★★½

    I’m sorry but I much rather prefer the film to be based around Meg Ryan & Goose’s relationship than Maverick and his girlfriend who likes to lick leftover food from Tom Cruise’s chin. Seriously, the sloppy tongue kissing was gross as hell, it’s only acceptable with me and my lady but I don’t want to see that when I watch a movie. I also don’t want to see Tom Cruise in whitey-tightie’s anymore, I believe showing him more than once was…

  • Vampires

    Vampires

    ★★½

    John Carpenter is at his worst behavior and boy oh boy he’s completely drunk off the vampire rave that somehow blew up in the late 90’s and early 2000’s and he thought it would be cool to have James Woods of all people to lead a biker gang of vampire hunters and one of the least popular or unlikable Baldwin brothers to be his accomplice... ??? 

    Yea, this was bad from the get-go and I remember somewhat liking it as…

  • The Natural

    The Natural

    ★★½

    I love baseball. I don’t have time to watch it anymore but I love the sport for what it represents and I have many cherished memories with my late Dad & I going to the games. Heck, I was born and raised in the city where the professionals get their bats, that’s right, Louisville Slugger bats are made in my hometown and I’m proud to say it. Here’s the thing, I was expecting some classic baseball fun or at least some…