Jacob has written 73 reviews for films rated ★★ during 2020.

  • El Topo

    El Topo

    ★★

    I experienced it and I hated it. It’s another weird one I can’t jump on board with.  I am unfamiliar with this type of style of filmmaking so I will not try to decipher the film. All I can say is if you love experimental, weird and bizarre style of filmmaking then this is your type of acid but for me, I’d rather stay sober and clear (simple) minded.

  • Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins

    Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins

    ★★

    As a kid, I would eat this up. It’s nothing but space action with no underlying messages nor heartwarming sequences. Mira Nova (Lady Buzz) is awesome and some of the childlike humor was hit and miss but unfortunately as a whole, this film is boring. Nothing to gain but I did enjoy some of nostalgia that I was feeling.

  • Homefront

    Homefront

    ★★

    “F**kin’ rednecks.”

    An ex DEA agent retires and finds new life in a small town. He has an altercation with some of the locals and then blah... blah... blah... blah... I’m sure you all can get a big whiff of the conventional plot.

    The performances are fine, regardless of Statham’s abysmal southern accent that literally doesn’t return after the film’s introduction. The action is average at best. What made this film generic as possible is the stale dialogue that consists…

  • Better Watch Out

    Better Watch Out

    ★★

    Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals

    You ever watch a film that is so over-the-top that it owns up to it and that overweening feel makes the film more fun? That’s not the case with this. This isn’t fun, it’s just cringe and most of the agony I was going through while watching is due to one specific performance, I mean, every component was mediocre but this unconvincing performance takes the cake. I do respect the altered plot twist, instead of…

  • The Quiet Man

    The Quiet Man

    ★★

    It was bound to happen sooner or later. One of the very few films with the sounds of bagpipes and Celtic roots that I did not enjoy. 

    John Wayne drops his cowboy guns and turns soft for a woman once he returns home in Ireland. He plans to marry her but needs approval from her family. It’s just simply uninteresting for my taste. The drunken humor doesn’t work. The only humorous aspect is how this exaggerated plot is finished, which…

  • The Greatest Show on Earth

    The Greatest Show on Earth

    ★★

    As I’m recovering from my headache I am conflicted within myself to give a detailed review but on the other end I’m not sure this film deserves it. I mean it tries to be lighthearted and fun but the absurd runtime made it such a rough watch that the circus sounds and soundtrack literally rattled my brain. They put my guy James Stewart in a clown suit. The melodrama was a complete bore. The acting was super annoying. The circus…

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II

    ★★

    Mayumi & Daddy’s Adventures 

    Since my girlfriend was disappointed with my “Frozen 1” review for not giving it the full justice it deserves, I will now go into full detail with each aspect of the film specifically, to truly give this film the justice it deserves. I apologize for my actions in my last Frozen review, with that said, let’s begin the deep dive into my comprehensive review thoroughly.  

    I must start off by saying, the visuals are amazing. 

    To…

  • Frozen

    Frozen

    ★★

    Mayumi & Daddy’s Adventures 

    👉FULL REVIEW HERE👈

    Yumi’s Favorite Song: Let It Go
    Aza’s Favorite: In Summer
    My Favorite Song: ...I enjoyed the amazing visuals? I didn’t enjoy any of the songs but if I had to choose, I guess the ending credits song which is the more cringe version of “Let It Go” but...it was the end credits song.

  • Eraserhead

    Eraserhead

    ★★

    Octoberthorgrassi: fifthundred Dreamsrise if Horror wah! (Day1/2$&8)

    Shichk ultra combo. Shimmy shimmy coco puff PEN erects from for hog wash. Goo goo gah gah AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Hmmm crimson totally. Shy cold from banana buns. Together we cook fried shovels.

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeespidermommy spaceguns....high ho!!!!!! Sailor gotta pee pee to see see my key key. “WELCOME TO CICI’s PIZZA!” - Michigan fudge. Shhhhhh Queen cannot has not a spoiled man but it still manages the film. Thank ya ya know HA! ya safe at…

  • Demons

    Demons

    ★★

    Octoberthon : 31 Days of Horror (Day 21.5)
     
    Persuaded by Rafael

    Rafael, if you are reading this which I assume you are, I do not want to completely trash a film recommendation since I respect you so much but my goodness buddy, I think you took my statement “I adore Practical Effects” too literally. Now don’t get me wrong, this honestly has the best practical effects any horror film I’ve ever seen but then you have the rest of…

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas

    ★★

    Octoberthon : 31 Days of Horror (Day 20)

    Hmmmm, what would my 16 year old self would say back in 2006 after seeing this without knowing it was a remake and not seeing the OG a day before? 

    “It’s so much fun! There is so much gore and cool death scenes to rave about! The cast is amazing! I love that Mary Beth girl with the cute bangs! Add her to the pile of celebrity crushes! I love Christmas & Slasher…

  • Fantasy Island

    Fantasy Island

    ★★

    Octoberthon : 31 Days of Horror (Day 18.5)

    Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. This is like drinking 10 Piña colada’s spiked with the most cheapest and distasteful rum the bar has to offer. I came for some Maggie Q and I stayed for some Maggie Q. It’s a convoluted fool’s paradise and the trip will make you homesick for its overlong stay. Only an ignorant hungover drunk could say they enjoyed this...*long pause*...ahhhh man, I guess…