Jacob has written 73 reviews for films rated ★★ during 2020.

  • October (Ten Days that Shook the World)

    October (Ten Days that Shook the World)

    ★★

    I love history but I’m not a history buff. I love when a plot doesn’t explain everything but explains some. I love inventive styles that paves way for future films but not shoved in my face. This film took all my pet peeves and put it on display for 1 hour an 40 mins. I hate to give this such a low rating because I have no idea what the story is about. I feel like it is my fault…

  • A Throw of Dice

    A Throw of Dice

    ★★

    You know, I was just mentioning to a fellow follower of mine saying I hardly ever get bored watching a movie even a really bad one. I apologize to you my fellow follower, apparently I was lying. This is seriously the most boring movie I have ever seen in the 1920’s. There is literally nothing going on besides talking. I’m not kidding you, don’t believe me, then go on YouTube and watch. There’s nothing and I mean nothing to gain…

  • The Eagle

    The Eagle

    ★★

    A pretty great performance from Rudolph Valentino wasted by the simple, cliche, overly dramatic and cheesy plot. This is the kind of movie my history teacher would put on during the last week of school just to torture us by making our last days even longer. A big  skip for me on this y’all.

  • Foolish Wives

    Foolish Wives

    ★★

    I feel like my 1920’s journey isn’t going so well now, I’ve really hit a rough batch of films I just can’t connect with. This film is so dull with its subject. I love the idea of a man who uses his wits and charm on woman to fool them into giving him money but the thing is...our “count” doesn’t have any redeeming qualities that make him likable. There is no chemistry with him and the American woman he’s supposedly…

  • Broken Blossoms

    Broken Blossoms

    ★★

    Basically the female version of “Joker” but much much worse.

    Abusive alcoholic dad beats daughter for reasons we do not know of. Apparently he’s a boxer who likes to drink and he’s just plain evil for no reason...

    So she runs away and this historically bad portrayal of a Chinese man that looks more like The Hunchback of Notre Dame takes care of her and they fall in love in a matter of seconds...

    I’m not going to mention the…

  • Dumb and Dumber To

    Dumb and Dumber To

    ★★

    This feels more like a SNL skit. It hurts to rate this so low because Jim and Jeff does a great job returning to their characters but the script is just one big overused stale joke. Even though I laughed at some jokes, most were a huge miss. It’s just weird seeing them at that age acting like disobedient children. There is no fun, the sparks are dim, there is no energy even when they try their best to act…

  • Allegiant

    Allegiant

    ★★

    Oh no. It didn’t have to end like this. Oh no. If a movie was formed into a computer virus then this would be that virus. Oh no. They totally butchered the first two installments with this plot. Oh no. 

    I’m sorry, I just can’t. Stay away and protect yourself from this messy plot. Oh no.

    I can see why this didn’t get a part 2. Oh no. 

    If I can sum up on how the Divergent series went I…

  • The Expendables

    The Expendables

    ★★

    I can smell the masculinity...

    Listen, if someone is looking for a movie with nothing but “guy talk”, big explosions, gun fights, tattoos, car chases, knife fights, fist fighting, bad guy vs good guy, in your face extreme and brainless action then you are going to have a field day with this movie, matter of fact, this is a masterpiece since that’s what it was going for but this isn’t my idea of entertainment nor is it my idea of a good time without thinking.

  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    ★★

    THANK GOD FOR CHRISTOPHER NOLAN.


















    If there is one woman my girlfriend should be jealous about it’s a 1997 Uma Thurman in a tight green one piece suit with dyed red hair...

  • Batman Forever

    Batman Forever

    ★★

    The Riddler: “Is that over the top? I can never tell.”

    Joel Schumacher: Not enough over-the-topness. BE MORE OVER THE TOP!!!!

    Seriously, I didn’t even know this Batman existed. It hurts to rate this so low considering my two favorite actors of mine play the villains. Two Face and The Riddler are both the laughing stock of their own joke. Speaking of jokes, why’re they both acting like a cheap version of the Joker? Val Kilmer is kinda boring, his…

  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    ★★

    Two middle fingers up and this saga can kiss my ass goodbye. Excuse my language. 

    The end.

    (Full review below)

    I just want to say thank you to all my followers who has been reading my reviews for this...this...this thing through out. I apologize for making you guys apart of this unexpected journey. I honestly didn’t think they would be this bad. I had a little glimpse of hope that I would enjoy at least 1 out of the 5…

  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

    ★★

    I still can’t believe this saga has made over 394 million dollars worldwide.

    I wish I could give a in-depth review but the plot is basically the same as the ones before this. 

    Ummmm there was a big cool fight scene at the end.....ummmm Jacob can’t handle the truth so he’s basically in denial about Bella not loving him. Edward still hasn’t gave up his vampire virginity to a desperate Bella, not sure why Bella hasn’t tried masturbating to vampire…