Jacob has written 59 reviews for films rated ★★ during 2021.

  • Beat Girl

    Beat Girl


    What we have here is a cheap buffet of beatnik, overblown teen adolescence, “hip” lingo and some bad acting. Seeing the 60’s style and trends soar its way into film made this interesting but by the end of the film, I was completely bloated.

    I blame my parents.

  • Shoot the Piano Player

    Shoot the Piano Player


    Ladies and gentlemen, The French New Wave is possibly, take that back, it’s CERTAINLY my least favorite movement ever and what we have here is The Godfather of that movement. The quick cuts, the experimental look of the film, the choppy editing, the very unlikable cigarette puffer who loves to talk about woman and love but can’t climb down from his ego ladder, he sometimes have deep philosophical thoughts where he narrates his poetic nonsense as he smokes his 759th…

  • The Cloud-Capped Star

    The Cloud-Capped Star


    WARNING TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS: there is some gang of fans for this film and director that will likely drop a long comment trying to explain how my dumb masculine American Lens blinded me to fully understand this film (and they’re probably right). They will try to shove it in my face on how stupid and ignorant I am and do their best to praise this film while saying “mean” things about my character in the process. That’s just a…

  • L'Avventura



    Oh look at that cinematography.

    Oh look at that cinematography. 

    Oh look at that cinematography.

    Ooooooooooooh... loooooooook... aaaaaaaat thaaaaaaaaaaaaat... cinnnnnnnnnn... emaaaaaaa... tooooooograaaa... pppppphhhyyyzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzZZZ

  • Diamonds Are Forever

    Diamonds Are Forever


    Utterly lifeless. The forgettable and cringeworthy villains, the convoluted plot, disposable and pointless Bond girls that shouldn’t be focusing on diamonds but more so on a shirt or pants, a completely uncharismatic performance from Connery. Easily my least favorite Bond film as of yet. This isn’t a diamond, it’s a very sharp pebble that’s stuck inside my shoe.

  • Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

    Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me


    Me prepping before seeing this: “Eraserhead just didn’t connect with me but that doesn’t mean this film won’t either. David Lynch is a mastermind and I’ll eventually understand why he has such a huge fanbase and this film will answer all my questions. Oh, and not seeing any of the Twin Peaks TV series probably won’t effect my viewing pleasure.”

    *2 1/2 hours later*

    Me - My Mind: Gobble Gobble Gobble.

  • Justice League

    Justice League


    With seeing the Snyder cut before this, it’s hard not to compare. With that said, I still would’ve found this incredibly dull and lifeless for one of the most anticipated superhero films of all-time. No team chemistry, hardly any character development and editing decisions that made me scratch my head. One scene in particular is when Superman is kicking the antagonist ass and then it randomly cuts to him walking up to greet Robot Cyclops, then it cuts back to…

  • Invention for Destruction

    Invention for Destruction


    I loved the visual representation on this. The use of live actors interacting with the animations will always be magic for the eyes but unfortunately, I couldn’t connect with any other element. The characters, plot and lack of sound didn’t reel me in unlike the visuals. To be completely honest, after 15 minutes I became completely uninterested.

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box


    After a rewatch I can’t keep quiet any longer because what is happening in this film seems very similar in another film or place. I can’t quite see as I’m battling the mist in my memory of other films that happened to cross my path that shares the same resemblance. What I can remember is that Sandra Bullock gravitates another great performance and the serene score from Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross almost makes me believe that I’m watching a coherent…

  • The Music Room

    The Music Room


    My rating is strictly based off of personal enjoyment and obviously I couldn’t find anything to enjoy. I don’t need to tell anyone how great of a filmmaker Satyajit Ray truly is, his legacy speaks for itself. I myself found the Apu trilogy fascinating to say the least. However, The Music Room is a complete miss for me on every level of personal enjoyment. That’s not to say I think this film is awful, absolutely not. I admit, I don’t…

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom


    Let’s start with what I appreciated. I loved, loved, loved how the horror element is back. No matter how silly it was, I loved some of the spooky shots of the Indoraptor inside and outside the mansion. Great use of the dark and rain. Speaking about the mansion, I sorta liked how this was mostly set in a mansion that resembles The Spencer Mansion in Resident Evil. Instead of Zombies, we have a genetically modified Dino, which no matter how…

  • Suicide Squad

    Suicide Squad


    True Story: This was one of my most anticipated films that I was looking forward to seeing. I was genuinely excited. I had the trailer on repeat. I was reading the bio’s of each character. I got 2 of my best friends who were just as excited as me to go see it in IMAX. I remember that night like it was yesterday because I remember the conversation we had afterwards... because there was hardly none. 

    Yea, we talked about…