Those has written 5 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Cats

    Cats

    ★½

    Part of me wishes that this transcendently stupid boondoggle had been directed by someone more competent and less boring than Tom Hooper, someone who could have unleashed the true batshit monsterpiece potential frustratingly held somewhat in check here by Hooper’s stifling middlebrow non-style. Then again, the hollow thunk of two artless upper-crust dipshits bonking their empty heads together is an immensely satisfying sound, and the schadenfreude of watching said dipshits, who have both traditionally enjoyed great and wildly unearned success and…

  • The Princess Switch

    The Princess Switch

    ★½

    I hope this is all just setup for a sequel where each Vanessa Hudgens encounters and switches places with a new, completely different Vanessa Hudgens, and so on exponentially until there are several dozen Vanessas Hudgens running around Belgravia and no one is entirely sure anymore who's pretending to be who and why, least of all their flummoxed LL Bean catalogue love interests and second-to-least of all the audience.

    Otherwise this whole thing was just a big waste of what I assume must have been a truly insane number of Crest Whitestrips.

  • Yongary, Monster from the Deep

    Yongary, Monster from the Deep

    ★½

    Y'know I'm starting to think this might not be the same Kim Ki-duk who directed Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring.

  • Laserblast

    Laserblast

    ★½

    ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

  • Reptilicus

    Reptilicus

    ★½

    Hmmm, I dunno....is it still MST3K if I actually get >75% of the pop culture references?