Those has written 90 reviews for films rated ★★★½ .

  • Evolution
  • Barbarella

    Barbarella

    ★★★½

    It's a lazy weekend afternoon in the waning days of the twentieth century. I am 7 or 8 years old, splayed out on the floor of my parents' bedroom and idly flipping through channels on basic cable as I am often wont to do. Something suddenly grabs hold of my attention with a mysterious and vaguely intimidating amount of force, one of those indelible formative images that sear themselves onto our memory as only the movies can. My thumb hovers…

  • It Follows

    It Follows

    ★★★½

    Werewolf Bar Mitzvah: Baby's First Hoop-Tober (3.0)

    I don't really see this whole pseudo-'80s horror throwback trend catching on, but who knows, stranger things have happened.

  • Moonlight

    Moonlight

    ★★★½

    2016 is really shaping up to be the Year of the Symbolically Significant Dental Accessory isn't it.

  • Roping Wild Bears

    Roping Wild Bears

    ★★★½

    Lol this is literally a 1930s Fishing With John.

  • Basket Case

    Basket Case

    ★★★½

    Werewolf Bar Mitzvah: Baby's First Hoop-Tober (3.0)

    Very appropriate birthday viewing, seeing as it also happens to be my twin brother's birthday. As you might expect I found myself alternately relating pretty hard to both brothers, and I was all set to declare this one of the best cinematic representations of the Twin Experience I'd ever seen until that bummer of a climax and ending suddenly turn what had been a surprisingly heartfelt and human piece of lovingly crafted trash…

  • Taipei Story

    Taipei Story

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Okay but seriously why does every Edward Yang film end with an out-of-nowhere grisly stabbing?

  • Stormy Weather

    Stormy Weather

    ★★★½

    When the Nicholas brothers started doing leap-frogging splits down a giant staircase I unconsciously let out this weird, loud yelping noise I have never heard myself make before, some odd combination of awestruck exhiliration and sympathetic third-party groin trauma. Their routine is seriously one of the single most impressive human feats I have ever seen captured on film.

    Also major props to Cab Calloway for rocking the big suit years before David Byrne was even born.

  • The Adventures of Mark Twain

    The Adventures of Mark Twain

    ★★★½

    Nothing else in the film is on nearly the same level as the "Mysterious Stranger" sequence, but that segment is a straight-up masterpiece, so.

    Also the nuance of the facial expressions in this is bonkers. I've never seen anything like it in stop-motion outside of this year's Kubo and the Two Strings (which had the advantage of being made 30 years later with the aid of computers and 3D printers).

  • Nightcrawler

    Nightcrawler

    ★★★½

    I know way too many people who talk like that.

  • Titus

    Titus

    ★★★½

    Your life is over
    Your life is over
    Your life is over
    Your life is over

    My two favorite Rhyses play dirtbag brothers who dress and act like they're competing to be "The Dangerous One" in a circa-Y2K boy band. What more could you ask from a Shakespeare adaptation?

  • The Warriors

    The Warriors

    ★★★½

    I kept searching the early crowd scenes for my gang, but apparently the Crown Heights Maccabees didn't want to schlep all the way up to the Bronx in that heat.