• Wheels on Meals

    Wheels on Meals

    ★★★★½

    I highly prefer this to MEALS ON WHEELS, which is a nice service that feeds the homebound elderly but is woefully lacking in fight scenes.

    WHEELS ON MEALS is a blast!  The comedy is funny, the stunts are great, and the fights are well done.  People talk about Jackie’s final fight against Benny The Jet a lot, but what about Yuen Biao flipping around on couches to get away from that Fantasy Island-looking guy?

    And it was a great idea to set a Chinese martial arts production in Barcelona.  It really gave the movie a unique feel.

    Just a wealth of charming Hong Kong fun.

  • The Big Gundown

    The Big Gundown

    ★★★★

    I watched the 95-minute English version, just to hear Lan Van Cleef’s velvet tone, but I think the longer Italian version will feel even better!

    The suspense is fun and the chemistry between the two leads is fantastic.  At one point a guy brings a knife to a gun fight and does pretty well, much to the surprise of Sean Connery’s character from THE UNTOUCHABLES.

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    ★½

    I don't know what the fuck this story was about, but I do know that there are not NEARLY enough swordfights for a movie that is both three hours long and wastes Chow-Yun Fat.

  • The Night Comes for Us

    The Night Comes for Us

    ★★★★★

    After watching MORTAL KOMBAT waste Joe Taslim, I wanted to see Joe Taslim waste everyone else. With his bare hands. And a pool ball. And a meathook in their taint.

    Don't be fooled by the slasher-movie levels of blood here: THE NIGHT COMES FOR US is a martial arts movie. There are tons of great fights, all shot well, and every fight has at least one "oh shit!" moment. Also, the obligatory "lady fight scene" doesn't really feel obligatory at all, and deals some of the craziest damage in the whole film! When Julie Estelle casually _____ off her own ______ I scream every time.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It is 2021. No one is dumb enough to need an origin story to accept Sub-Zero. He's a ninja with ice powers who wears blue because ice is blue. Got it. We didn't need to see Chewbacca choose his bandolier and we don't need to see Scorpion choose his knife-hook deal.

    Also, it is 2021. There has been enough of a resurgence in well-filmed action and martial arts that your movie ABOUT MARTIAL ARTISTS should have clear long takes with…

  • Maniac Cop 2

    Maniac Cop 2

    ★★★½

    I like that these movies call out the police for their corruption and dedication to vendetta above justice.  I also like that they’re about a giant zombie man with nice clean gloves.

    NOT as entertaining as the first one, but it’s a fun story with some great action, and a policeman’s row of a cast!

  • The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

    The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

    ★★★★★

    One of those “foundational masterpieces” that doesn’t feel like homework.  This film is lean, mean, and kind of sexy?  I know at least Tim Burton would agree - dude seems to have pulled his entire aesthetic from this thing!

  • The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    ★★★★½

    I think it's hard for an animated film to rise above the pack anymore. It feels like every other one of these has great animation and funny jokes, but this one has SUCH great animation and SUCH great jokes, that it is easily the best animated film I have seen since SPIDER-VERSE (which is by the same crew). There are so many scream-laugh-inducing jokes in this. It is really so so funny. A little long (could have shaved the 2nd act a little), but besides that this thing is so amazing.

  • The Devils

    The Devils

    ★★★★½

    I braced myself for this to be more viscerally fucked-up, and was not ready for the sheer amount of "just weird" fucked-up! I am what they call a "Lapsed Catholic™" so i really appreciated this clash of true faith and the corrupt government product that religion is today. Fantastic!

  • Tremors

    Tremors

    ★★★★½

    I showed this to my 9-year-old daughter for "Half-O-Ween." She loved it, and afterwards we got to have that talk every kid has about why "bastard" isn't always nice to say even though it sounds amazing.

  • Captain America: Civil War

    Captain America: Civil War

    ★★★★

    They eschew that "grounded espionage" feel of the previous film and the TV show, but this is till some good Marvel-in'! Tom Holland's Spider-Man was such a good character before they made him sad about Tony all the time.

  • Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

    Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

    ★★★★★

    My girlfriend hadn't seen this yet, so even though this is the 3rd (4th?) time I have seen this in a year, it had to be done.

    Still a joy, and still one of my favorites!