Timmy has written 13 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

    Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2


    Infamous for "Garbage Day," and also because 40 of its 85 minutes is footage of the first movie with some new narration! You gotta appreciate such bold stupidity.

    Eric Freeman's performance gets a lot of guff, but I swear some of these bizarre choices were done on purpose, and I like them and even think that it works! I especially love the couple of close-up shots of another character who doesn't know Ricky is right there, centimeters from their face,…

  • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

    The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

    One great thing about the Narnia books is the casual matter-of-fact way that CS Lewis describes the weird creatures, big fights, and general fantasy shenanigans. The movies eschewed all that and instead try to make every single thing feel "Magical,™" all just to chase that Harry Potter/Lord Of The Rings Golden Snitch/One Ring of box office returns.

    So you get unnecessary and poorly-done emotional hooks, 30+ minutes of drawn out beats (the scene of the armies running towards eachother lasts…

  • Dead Heat

    Dead Heat


    Watched as part of THE LAST DRIVE-IN. The creature and make-up work is terrific, Uncle Treat is perfect, and Joe Piscopo is. The story makes no goddamned sense. There is a scene of a woman rapidly decaying that is amazing.

    He's not really my uncle,but a girl can dream!

  • Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

    Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I wish "Horror franchise ends by revealing that the monster was a meat puppet possessed by worms" was still a trend.

  • UglyDolls



    The bland CGI kids' movies always seem to be the ones that come up with a crazy high concept that they can't really sell (see also Storks and Boss Baby). I'm not sure if saying "it's okay to be ugly" is good? Is it?

  • The Christmas Toy

    The Christmas Toy


    Beautiful puppetry, and all the fun old-school Henson voice actors. Unfortunately, the whole concept of toys dying if they are seen in a different spot than where they were last seen by humans, is as clumsy as my explanation of it. Although TOY STORY sort of ripped off that premise, and the plot, both were done much more elegantly by Woody and Buzz.

  • Lady and the Tramp

    Lady and the Tramp


    Okay we got rid of the racist cats, but if I were a giant ugly baby-eating rat I would sue for defamation of character

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child

    A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child


    There is some cool imagery here, and I like the themes of parenthood, and feeling responsible for your children.

    The acting however is pretty bad across the board, the dream kills are just silly, and the story is all over the place and confusing! This is a big letdown after liking the first four of these.

  • Surf Nazis Must Die

    Surf Nazis Must Die


    Lame entitled brats turn to Nazism in lieu of developing an actual personality, and gleefully ruin everything around them. Pretty far-fetched.

  • Mission: Impossible II

    Mission: Impossible II

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    John Woo John Woos as John Woo as John Woo can John Woo, but I couldn't John Woo that John Woo of a John Woo (John Woo)

  • Dark Phoenix

    Dark Phoenix


    The X-Men movies opened the door for superhero team films, and being the first ones, they left plenty of room for future films to go even more "comic booky" as time went on. The MCU in particular really learned to embrace its crazier elements, and not to be ashamed of them, which paid off in droves, but for some reason the X franchise couldn't grow along with the newer franchises that it enabled.

    Here we have the 12th X-Men movie,…

  • Deathstalker



    Despite its short length, it seems like the writers didn't know what to do in between fights, so they just filled it in with rape and misogyny.

    The pig-man is cool though!