The Thing ★★★★★

R.J. MacReady, a cowboy pilot doing battle with some fuckin Thing in John fuckin Carpenter's atmospheric horror classic. A fast dog. J&B scotch straight from the bottle. Checkmate mutha fucka. The one fuckin time you really needed a Norwegian translator. Mac's hat. Wilford Brimley before diabetes. Nauls is very superstitious. Clark the dog whisperer. A sad-face doggy massacre. The way Childs says mother fucker. Flamethrowers will fuck you up. An Invasion of the Body Snatchers-esque scream. When a man bleeds it's just tissue. A tense-as-fuck blood test. A defibrillation gone to fuck. Window's last view. The accidental head-shot. A spaceship in the middle of an igloo. A final battle with the good doctor. Fuck you too Thing! Making it out of Hell only to freeze your ass off. One last conversation with your friend before calling it a night. My favorite holy-fuck-whose-the-fucker-infected-by-some-fuckin-alien-like-thingy film.

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