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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    For a long time, I thought there was no way I could possibly write about my favorite film of all time because I felt like there was nothing I could say that would do it justice. Then I realized, you know, that it doesn’t really matter what I say about it because this film speaks for itself. It is a perfect movie in every way and everything about it is well, perfect. The direction, the camerawork, the score, the lighting,…

  • 10 to Midnight

    10 to Midnight

    ★★★★★

    I finally got a chance to watch this and it is a beautifully glorious sleaze trashterpiece. Cannon, J. Lee Thompson and Charles Bronson is a great combination, but this might be the greatest of them all. 

    Part police procedural and part slasher, I really couldn’t ask for anything more...but wait, there is! There’s plenty of blood flying and the killer strips nude before he does his thing which means Gene Davis runs around with his dick swinging so often it’s…

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  • Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

    Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell

    ★★★

    This was pretty decent for what it was: the sixth entry in a series I've just never really been enamored with but find perfectly acceptable for viewing on a weeknight.

    The title and poster art are a bit misleading because it's not exactly the Tremors Take Antarctica it would have you believe. Instead it's mostly graboids in the tundra and there's even a scene that takes place in a hot springs so definitely no snow and ice there because the…

  • Prison of the Dead

    Prison of the Dead

    ★★★½

    “Because the coke is dry and I’m wet!” - actual line from the movie where a girl is talking about her vajeen.

    Almost everyone in this movie is a coke head. Coke is the one drug I would always turn down back in the day because the shit sucks. You feel great for a few minutes, but the whole time in the back of your head you’re thinking about how you’re going to need more and then the comedown is…

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  • The Haunting of Hill House

    The Haunting of Hill House

    ★★★★★

    Absolutely the best miniseries I have ever seen. Possibly the best miniseries ever made and yes I am absolutely serious.

    Everything in this was the best choice. The whole thing continuously impressed me, but that ending to episode 5 slapped my ass right across the room. Across the goddamn room. The entirety of episode 6 should and will be examined in film schools from here on. Episode 10 gave me so many intense feelings including some that I usually don’t…

  • Altered States

    Altered States

    ★★★★★

    When I was 19, I had a really bad trip that resulted from me unknowingly taking a much larger quantity of acid than I realized. Yes, that is actually a thing that can happen. During this trip, I was inside a friend’s huge mountain house that I had never visited before and I became caught between life and death. I remember that life was beautiful and full of pretty colors and beautiful imagery, but in the darkened corners of that…