Burlesque

Burlesque ★★★½

“I WILL NOT BE UPSTAGED BY SOME SLUT WITH MUTANT LUNGS!”

HIGH DRAMA. Cher is mom!!!!! My sweet Sagittarius baby Christina. She is so entirely out of petty boy Jack’s league it’s sort of comical. She should have just milked that big daddy into buying her more Louboutins. I appreciate the effort they put into trying to give her cleavage. I like that everything is neon-colored candy in this. Why haven’t we gotten a gay romcom with Stanley Tucci and Jeff Goldblum falling madly in love making each other French toast yet? Not enough Alan Cumming!!!