• Red Notice

    Red Notice

    ★½

    𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐭𝐬𝐲

    I get that these kind of movies thrive off outrageousness and off-the-wall antics. But I just don’t like them. Right next to Dwayne Johnson’s Jungle Cruise and Ryan Reynolds’s other movies they’re just too bland and nothing short of a cash grab. Granted you have three fun lead actors taking you on a ride—but if that ride is nothing but a second rate rotting boat of sudden stops and cringe humor—than maybe it’s not best to…

  • Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    Screen Gems just stop. Just fucking stop for the love of god! How many idiots does it take just to make one semi-decent Resident Evil movie? Really? Why in the fuck would you (Jill)sandwich the first and second game together in one movie with such a short runtime? Both are perfectly good at holding their own separately. Just because you make it somewhat accurate to the games doesn’t forgive such a blasphemous poor written job on the plot and it’s beloved characters. So pathetic. Just play the games people.

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★★★½

    𝔻𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕

    Amongst my favs in the series just based on its sheer atmosphere of ‘calm before the storm’ vibes. Speaking of storms we just had a crazy blizzard which gave me time to enjoy these final parts while being snowed in lol.

    I remember this releasing when I was in 10th grade. I can’t believe it’s been that long ago. So much has happened since. It’s just really nice to have fond memories in these harsh…

  • Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead

    Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead

    ★★★

    I was needing a good laugh today. And this movie’s goofy ass shows up lol. It was a fun time. Not as surreal charming as the first two but it’s a decent watch.

  • Spiral

    Spiral

    ★★★

    𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫

    Junji Ito’s work has created rather crazy images in my mind for the last year. My friend tried to get me to read Ito’s stories for years but I quietly put it off. Until recently where I was unconsciously lured to his horror world. Where unexplained terrifying phenomenons and cosmic terror beyond the realms of the human mind reign. Enduring the twisted narrative of the Uzumaki and witnessing the apocalyptic end of the world in Hellstar Remina. It…

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★½

    𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

    Starting out the new year with the first entry in my horrona marathon part III. None other than a new horror picture from visionary director James Wan, whose work I greatly admired. But I’ll be honest I wasn’t exactly tickled to see this when it released which is why I kinda put it off until now. Just like a good chunk of films from last year this filmed also proved divisive in the…

  • Black Widow

    Black Widow

    ★★

    𝐒𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫

    Honestly I haven’t been doing my marvel homework so I don’t know what events take place now as I’ve already forgotten WandaVison which is odd cuz I remember liking it a lot and I haven’t even seen Loki yet. So this review may not be up to par but I watched this so now I have to log it in unfortunately.

    Ugh okay so thinking back I kinda stopped after Endgame and what I mean by ‘stopped’ is actually not…

  • The Matrix Resurrections

    The Matrix Resurrections

    ★★★

    𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝

    Okay. Just one of the most anticipated sequels of all time. That as of right now, 3:00pm on December 26th of 2021, is one of the most divisive movies of the year...soooo no pressure lol.

    Oh man. How to say my opinion without getting erased from existence haha. Well I guess I’m playing devil’s advocate so I’ll just say it: it wasn’t that bad. BUT it wasn’t as good as it should’ve been. From the harsh reviews…

  • The Devil and Father Amorth

    The Devil and Father Amorth

    Regular people: has birthday party

    The italians: has a birthday party serving ice cream cake after an exorcism and everyone is just straight up chillin

    friedkin had to get this shit on film. I honestly wouldn’t have believed it. This further proves my suspicions: Italians do. not. give. a. fuck.

  • The Day the Earth Stood Still

    The Day the Earth Stood Still

    ★★★★

    𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞

    My parents told me that back when they were kids, that every child would always hide under the covers when Gort (aka the alien robot) first appeared. I just find that so wholesome. It’s just another magical reason to love the 50s sci-fi schlock. It’s so cardboard theatrical but also just completely out-of-this-world!

  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

    ★★★

    I’ve never really been that much into this series. Even as a kid I don’t even think I laughed that much. But there is a charm to them. Mostly in the outlandish skits that come out of nowhere. It is quite random. The film struggles to make Clark a likable character. He can be kinda sweet and then miraculously he’s hinting about cheating on his wife...the only person that truly believes in him. I mean I guess that’s the suburban…

  • Ninja Assassin

    Ninja Assassin

    ★★★

    Naomi Harris is so hot