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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★½

    Fassbender is so good in these, I wish the movies themselves held up. Billy Crudup as the incompetent leader makes for a solid replacement of the corporate horror in the original trilogy, and I like how the crew are all couples. But there’s zero tension or excitement with any of the space horror, and Katherine Waterston and Danny McBride successfully fight and kill two aliens in a row with barely any trouble. 

    The real biggest sin is how boring that…

  • Perfect Blue

    Perfect Blue

    ★★★★

    It’s true what they say... there really is no business like show business

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  • Sex and the City 2

    Sex and the City 2

    ½

    I would watch a 3 hour long YouTube video unpacking the ways this is racist

  • Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

    ★½

    I don’t know what’s crazier, the fact that this movie uses a motif in its score calling back to Alien Resurrection or the fact that I noticed 

    The premise of aliens causing havoc in rural America is so sound for sleazebag SyFy channel original movie style cinema that I wish they stretched it further. One can only fantasize an alternate Aliens Versus Predator: Requiem, perhaps one that takes place in the 1950s. Perhaps we get to see a predator mistake…