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  • Split Second

    Split Second

    ★★★½

    Rutger Hauer shows his badge to a dog, and not as a bit.

  • After Last Season

    After Last Season

    ★★★★

    “I was… having a terrible dream.”

    Producer/writer/director/cinematographer Mark Region’s After Last Season is often mentioned alongside such jarringly guileless films as Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, James Nguyen’s Birdemic and the films of Neil Breen. Despite the fact that After Last Season demonstrates all of the hallmarks of low-budget naive digital cinema which these films share in common—counter-intuitive framing and shot compositions, unmixed sound, crude effects, library piano soundtrack—it was actually shot on 35mm film, photographed and edited piecemeal over ten…

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  • 3 Ninjas

    3 Ninjas

    ★★★

    Lighthearted fun until the 75 minute mark where out of nowhere grandpa throws a knife into a man's heart, killing him instantly (this is still accompanied by a cartoon "boing!!!" sound effect).

  • The Transformers: The Movie

    The Transformers: The Movie

    ★★★★½

    Genuinely a beautiful film to look at.

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  • Double Down

    Double Down

    ★★½

    Actual end-credits text:

    LIGHTING................... NONE
    MAKE-UP AND HAIR.. NONE
    LOCATIONS................ NEIL BREEN
    CATERING.................. NEIL BREEN

  • November

    November

    ★★★★½

    Friendship ended with Black Phillip, Now Bible-crushing plague pig is my best friend.