wheelie

pretending having fucked up taste is the pinnacle of pretension

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  • Hard Target

    Hard Target

    ★★½

    Utterly masturbatory.
    I'm glad it very quickly dropped the attempt at gritty realism to opt for whatever the hell it became. Some very enjoyable shoot-out choreography but damn, I was bored by the plot and driven up the walls by the slow motion, hard cuts, and freeze frames.

  • A Tale of Winter

    A Tale of Winter

    ★★★★

    Phenomenal first few minutes, perhaps lost me once or twice in the middle, but cried at the end so I'll consider it a success.

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  • On the Rocks

    On the Rocks

    ★★★½

    I'm a little iffy on this. I loved a lot of the first 2/3, the chemistry between Jones and Murray was great, Marlon Wayans though perhaps not the best casting was a choice that intrigued me nonetheless.
    The final half hour though I didn't much appreciate. I was rather expecting it to just tear my heart out and rip it to shreds. In retrospect it's kind of what I wanted, to just be emotionally destroyed and that didn't happen. If…

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    Dakota Johnson (trying her very best) falls head over heels for a guy who really needed a restraining order and then she doesn’t love him anymore and otherwise almost nothing happens and then it ends.

    Maybe I’ll write a real review when I’m not in a blunt force trauma mood.