• The Island of Dr. Moreau

    The Island of Dr. Moreau

    ★★★★

    Director’s Cut. Kind of bad, but actually awesome. OG Planet of the Apes meets OG Mad Max as a creepy mystery thriller starring Professor Lupin, 1995’s Batman, and Don Corleone.

  • Kin-dza-dza!

    Kin-dza-dza!

    ★★★★½

    The whimsical grunge-tech of Mad Max meets the clever absurdity of Terry Gilliam in this satire about two Russians who accidentally teleport to an alien world. Funny and minimalist with lovingly crafted world building, Kin-dza-dza is a deep dive into the culture of planet Pluke complete with new languages, customs, and inventions. 

    Blacklisted from release in the US during the height of the Cold War for its satire of capitalism and heavy use of the alien word “koo” which sounded like the initials of the General Secretary of the Communist Party, K.U. Chernenko.

  • Hardware

    Hardware

    ★★★

    Gabe from The Office said it best: 

    “I know how much you want to watch Wall-e. So I got us a compromise. This movie’s called Hardware. It tells the story of a killer combat robot, just like Wall-e, that the government invented to destroy humans. It’s some of what you like and some of what I like.”

  • The Drifting Classroom

    The Drifting Classroom

    ★★★★

    The Japanese director of Hausu (1977) brings his trademark insanity to this manga adaptation about a school that time-slips into a future desert wasteland. It’s Lord of the Flies meets Goonies as the stranded schoolchildren struggle to survive amidst psychedelic storms and giant cockroach monsters, all beautifully scored by Joe Hisaishi, famous for his evocative work on Ghibli films. A bizarre mix of Japanese and phonetic English only enhances the weirdness and at times the acting is so bad it’s good again. Stick around for the spontaneous song and dance numbers.

  • Danger: Diabolik

    Danger: Diabolik

    ★★★★

    Psychedelic 60s Batman meets Euro-superspy cool. Master criminals, castle heists, airplane trap doors, surf rock music by Ennio Morricone, and the greatest bed in movie history.

  • Rollerball

    Rollerball

    ★★½

    A slow burn commentary on corporate collectivism versus the individual with some fiery violence peppered in. Rollerball feels ten hours long, but James Caan is awesome, goddammit, and I wish it felt like twenty.

  • Futureworld

    Futureworld

    The trashcan sequel to Westworld (1973) starring Peter Fonda as a journalist investigating the park’s re-opening. The absence of Crichton’s involvement is strongly felt in a plot brimming with computers and gadgets, but empty of thought and artistry. In the only redeemable moment of the film, Yul Brynner reprises his role as the killer robot for a brief and bizarre erotic dream sequence.

  • Westworld

    Westworld

    ★★★★

    A cool and campy original script written and directed by Michael Crichton. Closer in spirit to Jurassic Park than the HBO show (and led Crichton to writing JP). 

    Bloody violence, fun bluegrass/country music, and a genuinely scary performance by Yul Brynner as an android gunslinger that would go on to inspire Carpenter’s Michael Myers and Arnold’s take on the Terminator.

  • Legend

    Legend

    ★★★½

    1:29 theatrical cut with score by Tangerine Dream
    - Beautiful fantasy cheese
    - Ridley Scott
    - Unicorns
    - Tim Curry as the devil
    - Tom Cruise as the gelfling
    - Epic set artistry 
    - Sometimes slow

  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man

    ★★★★

    The quirkiness and folk music of Harold and Maude mixed with the pagan cult horror of Midsommar. Christopher Lee considered this to be one of his greatest roles ever.

  • Friday the 13th Part III

    Friday the 13th Part III

    ★★½

    2 stars for the eyeball shot and a half star for 80s punks

  • Bad Boys II

    Bad Boys II

    ★★★★

    An unrestrained masterpiece of excess.