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"We Bought a Zoo" - Matt Damon, We Bought a Zoo (2011)

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  • Welcome to Marwen

    Welcome to Marwen

    ★★

    A film about a man so obsessed with playing with his toys that he loses touch with reality.

    So it’s the Robert Zemeckis story.

    SIDE NOTE: Zemeckis cast his wife as a pornographic actress in this film and I have never felt more uncomortable in my life. 

    I mean... I’m glad that you’re horny for your wife Bob. :)

  • Swallow

    Swallow

    ★★★★

    FUN FACT: When I was a kid I swallowed a lego brick. I saw it on the floor and was like, “What if I swallowed that lego?” So I did. And then I went to my mom and was like, “I just swallowed a lego.” 

    And then she called poison control. They told her it would probably be fine. That I didn’t need any medical attention. 

    I do sometimes wonder if that lego brick is still inside me. A long lost vestige of my childhood...

    ...Slowly poisoning me.

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  • Over the Hedge

    Over the Hedge

    ★★★★

    The original PARASITE

  • Artemis Fowl

    Artemis Fowl

    ½

    I’ve heard some film critics say (brag) that they can determine whether a movie will be good or bad solely from the opening shot.

    And I’ve always found this to be a disingenuous, if not pretentious thing to say.

    That said, from the very first shot of Kenneth Branagh’s Artemis Fowl, I knew I was in for a very bumpy ride.

    The film opens with an aerial shot that tracks along a beach over to a Manor overlooking a cliff.…